What to say and dowhen someone says “no I’m not okay”
Please be prepared incase someone admits they are not okay
1. Just listen. Don’t switch into logical mind and think you need to be their superhero. Listening is so powerful. The best friends are listeners rather than speakers. 👂
2. Listen… we have two ears… Don’t be quick to suggest. We know you want to help but please don’t suggest “Have you tried this?”. It’s invalidating. Most likely we have tried to find ways to manage. 👂 👂
Again “It will get better”can be insensitive. Unless support is in place and this person receives help itwon’t necessarily get better right then and there.
One I get is “have you been exercising?” “Have you been taking your medication”.
3. Refrain from saying “I understand what you are going through”. 🤐
The truth is no one understands what another person is going through. Unlessyou are that person. This statement is made often with best intentions but canleave a person feeling more alone. Do the best you can to put your judgementsaside.
4. Say words with love 💕 …
“I’m so sorry you are going through this”
“I can see that you are going through are tough time”
“I am here for you”
“How can I help you during this time”
“I want to be here for you”
“Can I support you in finding some help”
“There are people who can help make things more manageable, can we have a looktogether in finding these people”
5. Stay. If someone admits they are not okay, don’t leave them. Keep incontact with them. Make time to be there for them. 🤳
6. Make a plan to check on them. Ask them to commit to being safe particularly in the next 24 hours. Consider whether you need to call for help.
7. See how they are going with accessing supports. Continue to listen towhat they need. Ask them how you can help. ❓❓
8. Read up. Do some reading on how you can support someone going through a tough time and also how to look after yourself. 📚
Until then… Have a day,
Love Laura
Love Laura
OT for BPD Founder
OT for BPD 