Judement is such as easy thing to do. I would say it is an automatic thought that helps us feel better about ourselves at the expense of another. Often this judgement comes from people who are suffering and see themselves poorly.
How do I know?
Because I was a judger. I judged everything and everyone. Partly my anxiety makes me think the world hates me. But with Christ’s love I am slowly moving from a place of pure hatred for myself and to a place of acceptance. The healing power of this is that as I slowly make this transition my acceptance of others has changed significantly.
Because judgement is so easy, something that I do not disclose on this page is my childhood abuse. It’s very easy to judge people without having a “reason” to explain or rationalise their behaviours. I do not need to explain myself.
For that reason I don’t think It’s helpful for people to read the various types of trauma I have encountered. I also don’t think it is helpful for those who have suffered similar experiences to compare our situations. WE ALL NEED VALIDATION, LOVE and ACCEPTANCE.
So why do we need to make a conscious effort to not judge ?
Because we have no idea how someones life has contributed to their behaviours. It’s too easy to blame people. Maybe they were subject to trauma as children, maybe they weren’t.
Maybe they are just selfish for self-harming rather than seeing it from a holistic picture. That maybe they are self harming to cope and distract one’s self from the pain they have endured,
By no means do I claim not to judge others. Its something I am trying so hard to work at. My BPD rage can often get in the way. Often days that I am clean from nightmares I am open, willing and loving. I want to rekindle lost friendships, move on with my life and be kind. Other days when my vision is tainted by nightmares these values of mine are harder to live by.
I am nowhere close to being a “good” person. But like others I’m trying my best to survive this life, the best way I know.
So please do not judge people with Borderline Personality Disorder or any other mental health conditions. It might make you feel better for a moment and maybe you are hiding something from yourself?
But the ultimate truth is, WE have no idea what they have endured to get to today.