What does BPD look like in one day?
I often get people commenting that they never would have thought I had BPD or a mental illness.
The reason being is that I try so hard to be “normal” what society expects from me.
I try so hard to put on a front of composed. Not a child inside an adult’s body.
There’s not one day I go with thinking of dying, thinking whether what I hear and see is real or imagined. Thinking I’m hopeless, worthless and the labels. Punishing myself for my abuse or the hurt I’ve caused others. The struggle to get dressed, shower, eat, to talk and breathe is real.
This particular day I woke up from a traumatic nightmare. I pushed myself to get out of the house so that I wasn’t alone. I spent the whole day preoccupied thinking of how I could steal an object to self-harm with to end the pain.
I’m not the person you think I am. We are bearly surviving.
This year I attempted to end my life twice. And I’m a “functional” person with BPD.
10% with this condition will die. Are we doing enough?
We need your help as health care professionals and the wider community to put us on your agenda for 2019.
Until then… Have a day,