I should be better by now, that’s what they said. (Trigger Warning)
An important part of a conversation I had yesterday with my psychologist.
They said I would be better now, they said that this would pass. That happier times would come. I’ve been living like this since I can remember. I’ve been in and out of hospital for years. Everyday I’m in so much pain. This is no life. I’m tired of all my weekly appointments, I’m done.
“I’m sorry that people have put a time line on your healing. There is no right timing and you have been working so hard. I don’t know what it’s like to live with BPD.” (She then shared a personal experience that made me feel less alone. She broke the barriers and connected with me on another level and shared her own struggles).
“Maybe it’s not about looking forward and hoping for a better future. Otherwise you will miss living your life now. Maybe it’s about finding the small things in your life now.”
Are you using your own experiences to inform this statement- that things WILL get better?
From my experience telling someone this is going to get better is not always helpful. Especially if they live with serious mental pain. Because when they have that next crisis. These thoughts might run through their brain. “I should be better by now”.
I stopped comparing my life and health to other people a while ago. But I haven’t stopped comparing my life to where I thought I should be by now. Even though I don’t feel it now. My psychologists advice is so meaningful to me and she is so right. Your healing is your own timing and journey.